💾 Computer & Tech Jokes
Fresh from the information superhighway! Have you tried turning it off and on again?
- There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't. NEW!
- I'd tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it. NEW!
- A TCP joke walks into a bar and says, 'I'd like a beer.' Bartender: 'You'd like a beer?' 'Yes, I'd like a beer.'
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
- How do you comfort a JavaScript developer? You console them.
- My computer's so slow, it takes an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Tech support: 'Have you tried turning it off and on again?' Me: 'It's a fire, but okay.'
- The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
- Why do programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.
- A user calls tech support: 'My cup holder broke.' It was the CD-ROM tray.
- There's no place like 127.0.0.1.
- I changed my password to 'incorrect,' so whenever I forget it, the computer says 'Your password is incorrect.'
- Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn't get arrays.
- A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, 'Can I join you?'
- How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None — we'll fix it in software.
- Programming is 10% writing code and 90% figuring out why it doesn't work.
- I bought a 28.8k modem. Now I can be disappointed by the Internet twice as fast.
- To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- My email password has been hacked again. That's the third time I've had to rename the dog.
- Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.
- What's a computer's favorite snack? Microchips.
- I'd tell you a joke about the World Wide Web, but it would take too long to load.
- Why was the developer broke? He used up all his cache.
- What do you call eight hobbits? A hobbyte.
- Why did the modem scream? Every time it connected, someone picked up the phone.
- CAPS LOCK: preventing login since 1980.
- How did the computer get out of prison? It used the escape key.
- What does a spider do on the computer? Makes a web site.
- Old programmers never die. They just decompile.
- Debugging: being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.
- What's the biggest lie in the entire universe? 'I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions.'
- In 1997, downloading one song took 45 minutes and tied up the family phone line. We were unstoppable.