Tom's Joke Emporium

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💬 Tom Swifties

Yes, these are all about a guy named Tom. It's his site. He insisted.


  1. 'I dropped the toothpaste,' said Tom, crestfallen. NEW!
  2. 'I'll have the hot dog,' said Tom with relish. NEW!
  3. 'We just struck oil!' Tom gushed.
  4. 'The doctor removed my left ventricle,' said Tom half-heartedly.
  5. 'I forgot my shopping list,' said Tom listlessly.
  6. 'These scissors are dull,' said Tom bluntly.
  7. 'I lost my crossword puzzle,' said Tom cluelessly.
  8. 'I'm no good at darts,' said Tom aimlessly.
  9. 'My bicycle wheel is bent,' said Tom outspokenly.
  10. 'I won the race!' said Tom winsomely.
  11. 'It's freezing in here,' said Tom icily.
  12. 'Pass me the shellfish,' said Tom crabbily.
  13. 'I keep hitting my head on things,' said Tom bashfully.
  14. 'I can't find the oranges,' said Tom fruitlessly.
  15. 'The train left without me,' said Tom dejectedly. 'I missed it,' he added, distantly.
  16. 'I only own diamonds and clubs,' said Tom heartlessly.
  17. 'Everyone to the back of the boat!' said Tom sternly.
  18. 'Fine, I'll rejoin the group,' Tom rejoined.
  19. 'I'd better repeat that joke,' said Tom again.

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