⛳ Golf Jokes
A good walk spoiled, then written down. FORE!
- Golf: a long walk spoiled. NEW!
- 'Doc, after the operation, will I be able to play golf?' 'Certainly.' 'Great — I couldn't before!' NEW!
- I'm not saying my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
- The secret of good golf: hit the ball hard, hit it straight, and don't hit it too often.
- Golf is the only game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.
- 'How was your round?' 'I only hit two good balls all day — and that was when I stepped on a rake.'
- Why do they call it golf? Because all the other four-letter words were taken.
- My doctor told me to play 36 holes a day, so I went out and bought a harmonica.
- Golfer: 'You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!' Caddy: 'That would be too much of a coincidence, sir.'
- Golfer: 'Caddy, why do you keep looking at your watch?' Caddy: 'It's not a watch, sir. It's a compass.'
- Golfer: 'I would move heaven and earth to break 100.' Caddy: 'Try heaven, sir. You've already moved most of the earth.'
- 'This hole should be easy — one long drive and a putt.' He tees off. Caddy: 'Now for one heck of a putt.'
- I play in the low 80s. Any hotter than that and I stay home.
- Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, they're sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
- I finally broke 70 this weekend. That's a lot of clubs.