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💡 Lightbulb Jokes

How many jokes does it take to fill a category? Screw it, here's a bunch.


  1. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the bulb has to really want to change. NEW!
  2. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford? NEW!
  3. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None — that's a hardware problem.
  4. How many bureaucrats does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done, and one to screw the bulb into the faucet.
  5. How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A fish.
  6. How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. If the bulb needed changing, the market would have done it already.
  7. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change it and four to argue about how Neil Peart would have done it better.
  8. How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change it and one to write a song about how good the old one was.
  9. How many mystery writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in most of the way, and one to give it a surprise twist at the end.
  10. How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. They hate to share the spotlight.
  11. How many managers does it take to change a lightbulb? We've formed a task force to study the problem and expect a report in six months.
  12. How many optimists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They're convinced the power will come back on any minute now.
  13. How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Why bother? The new one will just burn out too.
  14. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it during dinner.
  15. How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? FORE!
  16. How many mimes does it take to change a lightbulb? ...
  17. How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but he'll get to it tomorrow.
  18. How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to change it, one to sing about the old bulb, and one to sing about the truck that hauled it away.
  19. How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a lightbulb? Five! Four! Three! Two! One! And FIVE! Four! Three! Two! One!
  20. How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb? Wouldn't YOU like to know.
  21. How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends what you want it changed into.
  22. How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but they'll do it whenever they feel like it, okay? Gosh.
  23. How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb? Define 'lightbulb.'
  24. How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It turned itself in.
  25. How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb? Who wants to know?
  26. How many Zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change it and one to not change it.
  27. How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb? On average, 1.2.
  28. How many grandmothers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, dear. You go on to the movies. I'll just sit here. In the dark.
  29. How many poets does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle, and one to change the bulb.
  30. How many archaeologists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it takes him six months to date the old one.

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