😩 Groaners & Dad Jokes
Warning: these puns are so bad, they're good. Actually no, they're just bad.
- I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. NEW!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. NEW!
- What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
- Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
- What's brown and sticky? A stick.
- I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- Why can't you trust an atom? They make up everything.
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
- I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? 'SUPPLIES!'
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- I'm afraid of elevators, so I'm taking steps to avoid them.
- What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? He woke up.
- Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
- I told my suitcase there'd be no vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
- What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
- What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
- I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
- Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
- What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
- I invented a new word: plagiarism.
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
- Why can't your nose be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
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