🍎 Teacher, Teacher!
Straight from the back row of Room 12. Little Johnny regrets nothing.
- Teacher: 'Johnny, name two pronouns.' Johnny: 'Who, me?' NEW!
- Teacher: 'If you had five apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?' Johnny: 'Five.' NEW!
- Teacher: 'Why are you late?' Student: 'Because of the sign down the street.' 'What sign?' ''SCHOOL AHEAD — GO SLOW.''
- Teacher: 'Use the word fascinate in a sentence.' Johnny: 'My raincoat has ten buttons, but I can only fasten eight.'
- 'Dad, can you write in the dark?' 'I think so. What do you want me to write?' 'Your name. On this report card.'
- Teacher: 'What is the chemical formula for water?' Student: 'H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.' 'What are you talking about?' 'You said it was H to O!'
- Teacher: 'Where's your homework?' Student: 'I made it into a paper airplane and someone hijacked it.'
- Teacher: 'If I had ten oranges in one hand and eight in the other, what would I have?' Student: 'Big hands.'
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- Teacher: 'Name a bird that can't fly.' Student: 'A fried chicken.'
- Mother: 'What did you learn in school today?' Son: 'Not enough. They want me back tomorrow.'
- Teacher: 'You missed school yesterday, didn't you?' Student: 'Not really.'
- Teacher: 'How do you spell crocodile?' Johnny: 'K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L.' 'That's not how the dictionary spells it.' 'You didn't ask how the dictionary spells it.'
- Teacher: 'Johnny, give me a sentence starting with I.' Johnny: 'I is—' 'No, Johnny. Always say I am.' 'Fine. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
- Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
- Teacher: 'What comes after G?' Student: 'Whiz!'
- Principal: 'This is the fifth time you've been in my office this week. What do you have to say for yourself?' Johnny: 'I'm glad it's Friday.'