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👵 Yo Mama

The schoolyard classics. Please note: all mamas herein are fictional and very good sports.


  1. Yo mama's cooking is so bad, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door. NEW!
  2. Yo mama's so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. NEW!
  3. Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
  4. Yo mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays AFTER dinner.
  5. Yo mama's so cheap, she chases the garbage truck down the street yelling 'Wait, I wasn't done with that!'
  6. Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1.
  7. Yo mama's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map she can see people waving.
  8. Yo mama's so short, she poses for trophies.
  9. Yo mama's cooking is so bad, the smoke detector cheers her on.
  10. Yo mama's so old, she has an autographed Bible.
  11. Yo mama's so slow, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
  12. Yo mama's car is so old, it's insured against fire, theft, and Indian raids.
  13. Yo mama's so cheap, she got married at a garage sale.
  14. Yo mama snores so loud, the neighbors called the airport to complain.
  15. Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
  16. Yo mama's kitchen is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
  17. Yo mama's so clumsy, she tripped over the cordless phone.
  18. Yo mama's handwriting is so bad, the pharmacist thinks she's a doctor.
  19. Yo mama's lasagna is so heavy, it has its own zip code.
  20. Yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.
  21. Yo mama's so old, she owes Moses a dollar.
  22. Yo mama's phone is so old, it has a rotary dial and a party line.
  23. Yo mama's so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was only sick.
  24. Yo mama's so loud, when she whispers, car alarms go off.
  25. Yo mama's TV is so old, the remote control was you kids.
  26. Yo mama's so old, her yearbook is in hieroglyphics.
  27. Yo mama drives so slow, mailboxes pass her.
  28. Yo mama's fruitcake is so old, it's the same one from 1974 — and honestly, it's still fine.
  29. Yo mama's purse is so heavy, it has its own gravitational pull.
  30. Yo mama's so old, she babysat Yoda.

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